Category: Patient Connection

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HUA- BECOMING BETTER AT LISTENING

Reading time 2:57

 

I find the origin of words and phrases fascinating. This phrase was a new discovery for me, not because I had never heard it before, but rather because I just became aware that it has an actual meaning.  In movies (i.e.  “Scent of a Woman”  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YuYUzjNiZqk ) or just in jest, I have often heard HUA uttered. Usually by a military figure and most often by a male. I always thought it was just a guy thing.  Kind of a masculine and/or military type of grunt.  I had no idea it was an acronym. It has many spellings and variations in the pronunciation, but for the acronym, we will return to its simplest form.

HUA stands for “Heard, Understood and Acknowledged”.  I love that!  It’s a great acronym for a meaningful sequence of events that is important in both our professional and personal lives.  There is a lot of talking going on all the time, but how much listening are we doing?

I have always liked this quote by Stephen Covey. “The biggest communication problem is we do not listen to understand.  We listen to reply.”  It is so true and that lack of listening to understand is becoming a major problem.  Do you listen carefully to your patients?  Do you hear what they are saying?

When I graduated, my first job was in the Department of Ophthalmology at the Cleveland Clinic. I remember one of my mentors saying that we, in eye care, are lucky.  If we listen to a patient, they will usually tell us what their problem is before we even do any examination.  This was back before the days of Google and he didn’t mean that they would come up with the definitive diagnosis.  What he meant was that from the patient’s chief complaint and a few well-placed questions, a viable differential diagnosis could be created. And he was right.  In fact, I enjoy seeing if my diagnosis from just listening to the patient’s complaints and comments will match my final diagnosis.  I am surprised by how often it does.

But, listening doesn’t stop there.  What about your staff?  Do you listen to them and their concerns and ideas?  If you aren’t, you are missing one of the most valuable resources you have. Some of your staff may be new to eye care, but others have years of experience.  They have worked other places and seen the good and bad in other offices. Why aren’t you utilizing their experience?

I have heard it said that when you hire a pair of hands, you also get a brain for free.  So why not use staff ideas and experiences to benefit your practice?  Make yourself open to your staff’s suggestions and observations. Our staffs are on the front line and they can often see both problems and solutions. But, do you listen to them when they tell you something?  I’m talking about the day-to-day running of your office.  Encourage your staff to offer you suggestions and ideas.  But more important, listen to your staff and consider their ideas.  Be open-minded. You might learn something new.

Another benefit of welcoming ideas from your staff and letting them help to develop the solution means your staff will be more likely to make sure it works. We all buy into solutions we had a part in developing. It also delivers the message that every staff member is an important part of the team.  Showing your staff members you hear them and value their input, makes them a more willing and productive member of your team. It also creates a positive work environment which benefits everyone.

It is so simple, but profound.  Just learn to listen!  Make HUA your credo.  And even better – why not HUAA.  Heard, Understood, Acknowledged and Appreciated!

 

Since our technicians often take the history before we see the patient, how much of the history, if any, do you repeat to be sure all pertinent information is there?  Do you want to hear a patient tell you their chief complaint themselves?  How do you facilitate and encourage your staff to help solve problems in your office?

Leave your comments below.  We are always anxious to hear new approaches to improve communication.

 

This has nothing to do with the blog and is just for fun: If you would like to see the famous tango scene from “Scent of a Woman” with Al Pacino playing a blind retired soldier, the link is provided here:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2zTd_YwTvo.  Enjoy it.

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SHOW AND TELL- EDUCATION FOR OPTOMETRY

Reading Time 4:13

 

Recently I realized how important show and tell can be in taking care of our patients.  We all learned early in our careers to never assume a patient knows how or what they should be doing. For that matter, are they actually doing what they say they are? On our tight schedules, it is so easy to just accept what our patients say.  But, the fact is we can’t trust them to always tell the truth for a variety of reasons.  Leading that list of reasons is that the patient knows what they’re doing is wrong.  They don’t want to confess their shortcomings because they know a lecture will soon follow.  We must also wonder if our patients ever received the right instructions in the first place.  This is especially true with patients who are new to our practice.

All doctors have their own set of horror tales of patient education gone wrong.  It takes time, listening and careful questioning to make certain that our patients understand our instructions.  Even then, it is no guarantee that they may not do something that could affect their treatment and final outcome.

Last week, I had a man come to my office for his exam.  He began by telling me that he works in a dirty environment and that he has dry eyes.  Artificial tears were used to help the dry eyes. The dirty environment meant he needed to wipe his lids while at work.  I could have let it go at that, but I wanted to know more.  Upon further questioning, he said he used the tears when he felt his eyes were dry. There was no routine frequency of use.  When I asked how he wiped off his lids, he offered that he was using alcohol preps!

As I continued the exam, I saw a notation I made on his last exam. I noted that he was a poor responder on refraction with variable results on his last visit.  On external exam his eyes looked irritated. Based on that and my note from his previous visit, I decided to use some artificial tears to improve the quality of his tear film for the refraction.

I opened a trial bottle of artificial tears, but instead of putting them in myself as I usually do, I decided to let him do it instead.  What I saw shocked me.  He ran the bottle along his lids just below his lash line. He administered approximately 4 to 5 drops, none of which even looked like they made it to the eyes.  The tears ran down his face and there was no doubt the bottle was now contaminated.  And that was in a clean office environment.  Imagine what happened to him on a daily basis while at work in a dirty environment.  This was the worst attempt at instilling drops I had ever seen.

I was thankful that I had given him the bottle instead of just doing it myself.  Valuable information would have been missed in how I advised him on his future eye care.  I would have assumed that he knew how to instill drops since he offered that he was doing it on a daily basis.  The treatment I suggested wouldn’t have been successful since the drops weren’t handled correctly.

I took the time to instruct him in the proper way to instill drops and then watched him do it several times in each eye. Yes, it took some additional time, but it made the difference in whether the total treatment plan succeeded. Needless to say, he was also instructed to abandon alcohol preps as a lid wipe and alternative treatments suggested.

I couldn’t help but think of all the patients I prescribe drops on a daily basis. Artificial tears, rewetting drops, allergy drops, and medications are all prescribed routinely.   But, how many times have I stopped to make sure their technique was proper and efficient?

Another Lesson Learned

I also learned another lesson about instilling drops from my own mother.  She has a dry eye as well.  I gave her artificial tears and told her how often to use them. In her case, I had showed her how to instill the drops and watched her do it several times.  A few days later she told me she was having problems.  So when I was at her house, I asked her to show me how she was using the drops.  Her technique was good except for one major thing.  She was trying to do it while standing up.

I never thought to tell her to only attempt instilling drops from a seated or supine position.  I realized that I had never included this piece of information to any of my patients.  But, I have since changed my instructions. I had never considered that a patient would attempt putting in drops while standing. The possibilities of losing balance or falling while instilling drops concerned me.

This is especially worrisome in the elderly patients who are often the ones most likely to need drops. They are also the group most likely to have problems with balance. I now make the suggestion that they only use drops when seated or laying down. Of course, it is possible to put drops in while standing, but it is more difficult.  Having a patient tip their head back can cause problems with equilibrium and could precipitate a fall.  Why not err on the responsible side and give patients instructions that keep them safe?

Show and tell may seem like an antiquated children’s game, but in my practice, it has become a valuable adjunct to my verbal patient education.  We would never think of dispensing contact lenses to a new wearer and not offering instructions in their care and handling. I don’t know of anyone who would expect a patient to learn how to insert and remove their contact lenses on their own.  Maybe we need to think about our instructions in other areas of eye care as well. If there is no time in your schedule for this instruction, then why not consider training one of your staff to become your patient educator.

Have you ever experienced problems with patients harming themselves by doing something wrong? Have any of your patients not gotten the proper results because of an error in the way they used the drops?   What do you do in your office to be certain patients learn proper procedures?  Do you use your staff to help in educating your patients?  Leave your comments and suggestions below.

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HOW AN AD HELPED OPTOMETRY AND OUR PATIENTS

Read time 3:04

This may not be breaking news, but there is still a valuable lesson to be learned.  In August 2016, I began to notice a new commercial related to eye care.  It was somewhat of a media blitz.  The subject- dry eyes.  The company –Shire Pharmaceutical.  As an optometrist, I realized the ad campaign was obviously in advance of their launch of Xiidra (lifitegrast) in the fall of 2016.

Aside from the anticipated potential of this new drug, the launch of this media campaign was a novel and inspired one.  It has been one we can all learn from.  Nowhere in their initial commercials or on their website was there any mention of their drug. The purpose of both the website and commercial was not selling the drug. Instead, they set out to educate the public about dry eye and its consequences.  We benefitted from this campaign, as do our patients, since it helped direct people with symptoms of dry eyes into our offices for diagnosis and treatment options.

The campaign featured Jennifer Aniston as a spokesperson which, in my opinion, is a definite plus.  She is popular with both men and women, though these commercials are obviously aimed at women. Directing it to woman makes sense since women suffer more from dry eyes than men. Women also schedule most of the appointments for family members and make decisions on health care and other purchases.

The website, https://www.myeyelove.com/, is consumer friendly.  I suggest you visit it and see what it says and the way information is presented.  Information is easy to understand.  The website is simple to navigate.  There are many videos that feature both optometrists and ophthalmologists. Both professions are depicted as capable and helpful.   The advice is common sense.  They encourage the viewer to seek out an eye care professional and have their symptoms evaluated.

Although I am not a fan of all the business to consumer (B2C) advertising done by pharmaceutical companies, I do like this ad campaign.  It does not set out to sell their product, but instead to educate the patient and consumer.  The company realizes that getting people into the doctor’s office will translate into more business for them.  But, a second benefit is that their company’s intent seems benevolent instead of opportunistic. They are not seen as just making a profit from a patient’s misfortune.

They could have just marketed it to doctors, or chosen to market it like other companies have.  But, they took the high road and took a novel and different approach.  Kudos to them.

With the official launch of Xiidra, the commercials run by Shire Pharmaceutical have changed and are more like ads we have seen in the past. They run ads for Xiidra as expected, but interestingly, also continue to run ads for My Eye Love. They have a separate website for the drug but also maintain the more information and education driven site for My Eye Love.   Both websites continues to be informative and easily navigated.  Links exist between the My Eye Love website to the Xiidra site, but it is up to the visitor to choose to use the link. It would have been an easy, and cost saving, decision for Shire to discontinue the My Eye Love ads and website when they got approval to market Xiidra.  Yet, they chose to keep both going.  Another reason to admire them.  I applaud their continued efforts on educating the public.

What can we learn and apply to our practices?  Educate your patients.  Provide quality care.  Make your marketing approaches aimed at what the patient wants and needs and not on what you think they should want and need.  Do not sell.  If all your social media activity and personal communication in the office are centered only on selling and promoting yourself, you will lose your credibility as a caring professional.   “Buy a new pair of glasses”, “Look at our new frames”, “Schedule a new exam” are ok in their place. Just don’t make it the only message you deliver.  In a study done by SproutSocial, 46% of social media users unfollow a brand because they have too many promotional messages.

Don’t miss the opportunity to educate your patients and make a more meaningful connection to them.  It is communication and connection that builds a practice and keeps patients loyal.  Make sure your patients leave your office as an enthusiastic ambassador for your practice.

How do you educate your patients on a daily basis in your offices?  How do you show your patients that your primary interest is in their health and well-being and not in what you can sell them?  Leave your comments and suggestions below.

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COMMUNICATION LESSON FROM AN UNLIKELY SOURCE

Reading time: 3:52

I called a plumber to repair a dripping faucet in my bathroom.  He was prompt, efficient and competent.  I asked him about other work I might need done in the future.  I just wanted an estimate of the approximate cost.  Instead, what followed was a detailed discussion about all the possibilities; shut off valves, taking faucets apart, non-freeze faucets, thickness of walls and on and on.

My eyes started to glaze over after a few minutes. He was knowledgeable as he attempted to explain everything to me and to answer all my questions. I tried so hard to hang in there and make the appropriate responses. Despite my efforts, it was a losing battle.  Midway through his long explanation, a horrible thought came to me- Is this the way I sound to my patients?

I’ve always prided myself on educating my patients, but now I was doubting myself.  Do I use terms and concepts they don’t understand?  Do I go into too much depth, or too little?  Am I paying attention to their responses or am I tuning them out?  Do I continue on with what I think they should know no matter what?  I can get quite passionate about what I say and do.  I love to educate a patient who wants to learn. But now I had to ask myself some tough questions.  Am I responsive to their needs? Am I making an effort to answer their questions in a way that is meaningful and useful to them?

Tailoring my response to the individual patient has always been a goal of mine.  Watching a patient’s facial expressions and body language is an important clue if I’m hitting the mark or talking over their head. For some patients, I go into great depth because their follow up questions and responses show they want to know more.  For others, who just want a simple answer, I try and provide that as well.

My experience with the plumber was a great reminder to always stay tuned in to my patients.  My answers can establish a valuable connection with my patients.  We are all facing increased pressures to see more patients daily and that means less time to make a valuable connection.  It becomes more important than ever to maximize that time and make a good impression.

I feel there are some basic rules to enhancing communication.  Most apply to any type of conversation, but especially when dealing with technical concepts.

  • Don’t use technical jargon.  It doesn’t impress patients or make them understand any better.  It sounds condescending and makes you sound like a medical snob.  Find a way to make it understandable without talking down to patients.  Making the effort to be sure they understand shows you respect them. It also conveys the message that they need to take part in their own health care.
  •  Make eye contact.   Whether you’re answering their questions, discussing the results of the exam or telling them the recommended treatment, be certain to look at your patient.  Resist the temptation to be entering data on the computer while you’re talking to them.  I know this can’t avoided through much of the exam.   Today’s electronic records necessitate that we record results as we go through our exam.  But be aware, when you are facing the computer, patients can’t read your expressions.  For that matter, they can’t hear you as well either.  Your head is often turned away and faced downward.  Your voice is absorbed and muffled by the surfaces in front of you. This is especially important to remember with elderly patients who often have problems hearing.
  • Body language can also speak volumes.  Face your patient whenever possible.  Make sure you’re open to them. Arms crossed on your chest is a closed off signal.  Standing, walking away or placing your hand on the door suggest you are already moving on to the next item on your schedule.  All of these give an unconscious message that you are no longer engaged with the patient.
  • Explain with simple examples or imagery.  Learn to use common sense examples or create visual images that’ll be difficult to forget. Both of these go a long way in creating a powerful memory for the patient.  If a patient is well informed and educated, they are more compliant. The time spent explaining also makes a valuable connection between you and your patient.  Never waste that opportunity. You may never get another chance if they don’t return to your office.

These suggestions aren’t profound.  Nor are they difficult.  I suggest listening to yourself explaining some common information.  Record yourself if you need to, or have someone else listen and give you a critique.  Try and improve your explanation by avoiding all the technical jargon that slips in when we are unaware.   Sometimes it’s necessary to use technical terms, but if that’s the case, then define them first.

Listen to your staff too.  Everyone in our offices is accustomed to using a shorthand of abbreviations and medical terms when we talk to each other.  It’s so easy to slip and use these terms when we speak to our patients.  Some patients will ask what you mean. But, many patients will not because they don’t want to look stupid.  Make your staff aware of good communication skills. Discuss it at staff meetings or perhaps role play. Have a staff member explain a problem, treatment or a sales presentation to another staff member.  Have other staff members make suggestions on how it could be improved.  It can be a valuable learning experience for everyone.

No patient should leave without understanding their diagnosis and treatment options.  Your patients will notice the time you spent making sure they understood.

What do you do in your office to improve communication? What tools do you use to help patients better understand their conditions? Join the discussion. Write your comments below. Visit our website and social media for other suggestions and free resources to enhance communication skills.

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ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER- SHOW GRATITUDE

Reading time:  3:49

We've all been in other doctors’ offices either as a patient or visitor. Keeping our eyes open and observing can give us some valuable lessons.  There's always something to we can learn- sometimes positive and sometimes negative.  I accompanied my mother to her oral surgeon’s appointment.  What I saw was all positive.  It was a caring environment for patients and staff.

But, they did one thing that blew me away.  It could have been a great marketing tool, but was even more meaningful because they didn’t use it as one.  It was an honest and thoughtful gesture.  It was not a calculated move, nor offered with expectations of returns.  All which made it even more valuable.  It was unique, generous and offered with an authentic desire to just be kind.

It occurred in our last few moments in their office.  We were ready to leave and were taken to their financial office to pay for the services we received.   When I made the appointment, the staff said that fees were due at the time of the service.  With our checkbooks out and ready to go, a staff member told us that we owed them nothing.  You heard it right- my mother’s fees were totally waived!  It so happens that this oral surgeon does not believe in charging people who are over the age of 90.  I mean, I've heard of senior citizen discounts, but I've never heard of anything like this!

What a decent, caring and generous gift.  A gesture like this is so important when you think about the lives of the people who receive it.  They were born before the Great Depression and have lived a long life.  They're living on fixed incomes.  Yet, they have many health issues that whittle away at what little income they do have.  You couldn't pick a group who'd be more appreciative.

The cynics among us will say that it doesn’t cost the practice that much. How many of their patients would it involve?  After all, how many 90+ patients are going to need oral surgery?  Cynics could say that the positive word of mouth advertisement would be well worth waiving the fees.  I am proof of that point.  I have recommended this practice to anyone who needs oral surgery.  But, if you look at it for the possible benefits to you and your practice then you are entirely missing the point.

It's not about the cost to the practice or the possible benefits at all.  It's about what it says about the heart and mission of this practice.  It's what it says about the doctor. It's about the way they offered this gift.  They don't advertise this benefit, nor do they use it in any of their marketing attempts.  They don't need to.  This is a large practice with a great reputation and their schedules are full for all their doctors.  Instead, they offered it in private.  They offered the waiver to help a patient who has lived a long full life.  They offered it without conditions or expectations of reward.  All which makes it so much more valuable.

I'm not suggesting that this is something you should incorporate in your practice.  Most practices could not afford such a gesture.  It wouldn't be practical to do this in an optometric practice.  But, it does make me think about what we can do to show our patients that we care about appreciate them.  The point is that it doesn’t have to be a dramatic act.  It can be a small act of kindness and caring.

There many ideas of how to bring that personal touch to our practices. Creating an atmosphere that is positive and welcoming can be both healing and encouraging. Thanking patients and acknowledging referrals is a good practice.  Writing a personal note to send to a patient on a special occasion can be meaningful.  Many offices do automated birthday greetings and that's nice.  But why not send a personal note, if the patient mentions some other occasion when they're in your office?  If they mentioned it, then it's an important event for them.  Celebrating anniversaries, graduations, the birth/adoption of a child, a job promotion, or welcoming a new patient to your office are just a few events worthy of noting.  Sending a note shows you heard them and that you cared.

If you like the idea of writing a personal note, but struggle with what to say, go to our website.  Look under Free Resources for a document called "Greetings and Salutations".  Download it and use it as a reference for your office to help you get started.

It can also be fun to honor groups of patients on special days like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Grandparent’s Days, or Valentine's Day.  Single out specific groups (senior citizens, military, police and fire departments, first responders, teachers, etc) for special treatment certain times of years. If you chose to feature a specific group, it doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate.  A simple sign acknowledging that group and thanking them for their work is a place to start.

The point is- be creative!  There's no limit to what you can do.  But do it for the right reason.  If you're doing it to just gain points and make yourself look good, patients will see right through you.  Your efforts at gratitude should be consistent with the culture of your office.  Do it with an open and generous heart.

Our patients already know we care for them, but how do you show them you also care about them? Waiving fees is an extreme example, but what has worked in your office?  How do you thank patients for selecting your practice and trusting you with their health care?   How have you let them know that they matter to you?  What have you done that your patients have enjoyed and appreciated?    Write down your ideas and share what works in your office in the comments below.

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DEALING WITH THE FEARFUL, ANXIOUS PATIENT

Reading time 3:30

My dog is a more cooperative patient than many patients who walk in my office door.  I am blessed with a wonderful Golden Retriever named Champ.  He developed an eye infection. Antibiotics and steroids have not resolved the infection. So I decided to seek out the advice of a veterinarian specializing in ophthalmology.

In their office, a technician reviewed the history.  A Schirmer’s test and tonometry were performed without a topical anesthetic.  Champ didn’t pull away, turn his head, squeeze his lids shut, or make any sounds of whining or growling.  He just let her perform the necessary tests.

The veterinarian did an external evaluation, hand-held slit lamp and binocular indirect ophthalmoscopy.  He instilled fluorescein and retracted the nictitating membrane. In all this time, Champ was the model patient.

Observing Champ’s exam, it occurred to me how nice it would be if all my human patients were like Champ.  Most uncooperative patients don’t set out to be that way. But, it still creates a frustrating and challenging exam for both patient and doctor. Along with the frustration, there’s also the fear of missing something or obtaining inaccurate findings under these less than ideal situations.

There’s not one simple explanation for lack of cooperation nor one universal solution. One frequent cause is fear or anxiety.  If you suspect that is the reason, then try and identify the source.

Is it fear of making the wrong choice and concern this will harm their eyes?  Is it fear that they will lose their vision?  Do they have high levels of anxiety associated with medical exams of any type? Do they have a history of a bad experience?  Do they dislike having their lids touched?  Do they object to the bright lights?

Whatever the reason may be, try and allay their fears. But, a word of caution, don’t lie or minimize possible discomfort associated with a test or procedure.  I may not tell every detail, but I do tell my patients what to expect and I answer their questions honestly. After all, they will soon experience the procedure themselves. If you lie, you will lose the patient’s trust. Once you have lost trust, it may not be possible to regain it.

Whatever the reason for their fear, I find that good communication is key.  Take the time needed to explain and reassure them as you perform the tests. In the long run, it will actually save you time. If you try and rush your patient through the exam, you will escalate their anxiety and further decrease their cooperation.  You will have to repeat tests and still end up with a poor and unreliable result.   Both doctor and patient will feel stressed and depleted by the end of the exam.

Acknowledging and discussing your patient’s fears actually calms the patient down.  Being empathetic and normalizing those fears can have a major impact on the patient.  I stress that it is natural to have concerns about medical tests. In fact, I confess that my own weakness is having a throat culture done. Letting your patient know that you also find some tests difficult, allows the patient to make an important connection with you.  Connection facilitates the exam.  Fears often embarrass patients.  Putting yourself in the patient’s position decreases their embarrassment and increases their cooperation. You haven’t added to their shame, but allowed them some dignity.

It is within your power to help them relax.  Share with your patient ways that they can make it easier on themselves.  Deep breaths are a proven method of relaxing and centering the patient.  For that matter, some just need to keep breathing.  (I’ve observed that many patients hold their breaths when anxious).  Simple advice can work for many patients.

When a patient can’t keep their eyes open for pupil testing or are photophobic, have them look up.  It may not be ideal, but you can still see the pupillary response. The patient is more comfortable and that is preferable to forcing their eyes open and trying to make an evaluation.

Whenever possible, allowing a patient to have some control can also help.  I ask my patient to tell me when they are ready for a test so they can prepare themselves instead of surprising them. They might want to hold their own lids. If so, let them try.  Instruct them on how to hold them without getting their fingers in your way. Show them how to have good control without exerting too much pressure on their eyes.  I am often surprised at how allowing them lid control can work and if it doesn’t work, at least the patient knows you tried it their way. These simple steps can make a difference in the exam and its results.

Fearful and anxious patients are appreciative when you make the effort to treat them with kindness and compassion.  It would be wonderful if all patients could be as cooperative and reliable as Champ, but the fact is many can’t. Remember that your attitude and approach to them can sometimes make a difference.  Why not try to make the exam more pleasant? You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

What helps you when faced with an anxious or uncooperative patient?  Share your comments below and let’s begin a discussion.

 

 

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THE ROLE OF EMPATHY IN AN OPTOMETRIC PRACTICE

Reading Time: 2:17

I am a night owl and often catch bits and pieces of a lot of the late-night shows. One show in particular, made quite an impression on me.

On May 12, 2016, one of Jimmy Fallon’s guests was Meghan Trainor. She sang at the end of the show and what he did at the conclusion of the song impressed me so much. It was an unscripted demonstration of empathy for another individual. I never saw anything quite like that on television.

If you would like to see the clip, here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7fk0YE78Is

At the end of the song, and after performing some complicated choreography, Meghan falls. Jimmy’s response could have been to just help her up and show concern, or even make a joke about her falling. But, his unexpected response diffused a moment that could have been very embarrassing for Meghan. He just laid down on the floor beside her. It was a warm, human, and caring demonstration. I couldn’t think of a better response for the situation.

That action exemplifies empathy. The definition of empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It is showing a person that you are there for them and to let them know they are not alone. It is listening with kindness and compassion.

When dealing with others, empathy is an undervalued trait. Empathy drives connection. And connection is vital to a successful practice and a meaningful life. Being empathic is a worthwhile skill to develop if you don’t already possess it.

When patients are afraid or difficult, empathy can calm them. Telling a patient that you have had similar feelings, and even giving an example, can create a bond and connection between you and the patient. This allows them to feel better and not so overwhelmed and self-conscious.

If a patient or staff member is describing a personal crisis (illness, divorce, death in the family, etc.), demonstrating empathy means you listen, recognize what they are feeling and show that you care. You can’t fix the problem, but by acknowledging their pain and suffering, you let them know that they are not alone.

When a staff member has made a mistake, or is not performing up to standards, empathy allows you to demonstrate your concern and desire for them to improve and succeed.

Still not convinced, consider the alternatives. Trying to ignore an awkward or uncomfortable situation definitely doesn’t work. In fact, it may even escalate the underlying problem. Telling someone who is anxious or stressed what you think they should do or feel is a disaster. They already feel embarrassed or like a failure, and you expressing your opinion will only upset them more.

Expressing sympathy won’t work either. Neither will judging someone, showing disappointment, or acknowledging that the shame and discomfort are deserved. When trying to decide how to react when you encounter these types of situations, think about the response you would want from someone if you were the one in the difficult situation and act accordingly.

The best, and only, answer is empathy. You don’t have to lay down on the floor with them like Jimmy Fallon. It doesn’t have to be that dramatic. Just listen and care. Be genuine. Don’t try to fix it for them, because you can’t, but support them instead. Tell them you are there for them. Let them know they are not alone.

Do you have any examples of how empathy helped you through an awkward moment? Share your comments below.